Episode 48

Orgasms happen in your brain

Published on: 24th November, 2021

We are so thrilled to be bringing you this episode today. This episode is the live recording of our Book Club conversation, discussing "Come as you are" by Dr. Emily Nagoski. This book is a game changer, and we feel that it is a necessary read for all sexually active humans. We hosted several women for this conversation, and we are so excited for you to hear from Shelby, Allison, Linnette, Dawn, Daulton, Kenna, Tava, Korbey, Terin, and Rissy.

We start with a brief overview of the book and what to expect if you haven't had the chance to read it yet. We then quickly jump into our favorite things about the text and the deep learnings we drew from reading the pages.

Just to start off, we jump right into the concept Emily Nagoski brings home in her book: YOU ARE NORMAL! Ok then, let's all just start setting down all the unnecessary baggage we carry around wondering if we are weird or broken, we are not... we are normal. We all have the same parts, organized differently. We jump right into anatomy and even mention talking about our anatomy with our partners. We spend quite some time talking about the garden analogy and how helpful that has been in allowing us to dispel untrue ideologies about ourselves, our bodies, and our sexuality.

The other point in the book that we spend quite some time on, is the three messages we receive about our sexuality and bodies. The moral message: you are evil (slut shaming), the medical message: you are diseased (something is wrong with you, you are broken), and the media message: you are inadequate (comparing ourselves to others). None of these serve us well, and we all are taking in parts of these messages as we are inundated with them.

We dip into the brakes and accelerator concept, and how this has been helpful in allowing us to understand our own bodies and helps us to create the right context we need in order to feel safe enough to be vulnerable enough to deepen that emotional intimacy with our partners.

Along with the brakes and the context, we discuss the importance of completing the stress cycle, and the key role that self care, self love, and self acceptance play in truly being able to not judge ourselves and really lean in to our sexuality with curiosity in a safe environment.

We cannot express enough how important and influential these conversations have been on us personally, as your hosts. We truly hope this is the start of the conversation, and that as you listen along, you feel safe and feel free to have conversations like this with your loved ones. Everyone is doing it, it's time we kick the stigma to the curb and have open and freeing conversations that lead us closer to our best and most pleasure filled lives.

We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on Patreon, follow us on Instagram, sign up for our newsletter, or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

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About the Podcast

I Totally Relate!
with Rissy and Shelbs
Hey Everybody! Welcome to "I Totally Relate!" with Rissy and Shelbs, the podcast of conversations all things Emotional Wellbeing. We're just over here giving permission. Permission to ourselves to be serious and funny. Permission to you to ask hard questions, and join the conversation. Permission to show up, exactly as we are. Oh yeah, and we're totally related.
Every episode we share tools that have helped us. We offer journal prompts for you to join us on the journey, and we occasionally offer guided meditations and breathwork.
We want to share our experiences and resources, and we hope you totally relate too.
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About your host

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Rissy Shelby Deason

This podcast is a collection of conversations. Some of them are interviews, some are guided meditations and breath work, and a lot of them are just the two of us sitting down at the table to talk through our experiences and all the things we’ve learned. We discuss big and heavy topics like trauma, insecurities, body image. And although we might be discussing a weighty issue one moment, we will be laughing the next. We are not experts, we are not perfectionists. We are just two women on our own journey oh yeah, and we’re totally related! We hope to start the conversation with you and share resources, and we hope that you can totally relate too.